I lived in San Francisco following the California Supreme Court’s 4-3 decision in May 2008 that the state’s denial of marriage rights to same sex couples violated the California Constitution’s equal protection clause. Gay marriages occurred by the dozens every day of the summer that I spent as an intern at the architectural firm of Page & Turnbull, and with the exception of occasional protestors downtown and on the Muni, I had the distinct sense that gay marriage was no big deal to the vast majority of Californians with whom I interacted on a daily basis.

Market Street, Downtown San Francisco, June 2008, © Thomas Duda
That is not to say, of course, that gay marriage was a non-issue. Equal marriage rights meant everything to many couples who spent decades unable to garner or even to hope for state recognition of their relationships. For selfish and bigoted folks alike, gay marriage also represented an opportunity to mobilize voters through the initiative petition process.
To me as a young twenty something from Missouri, I only really thought about California marriage rights when I attended a meeting of the San Francisco Landmarks Preservation Advisory Board at City Hall. There, I witnessed many beaming couples sporting rainbow cummerbunds exchanging vows in one of the most attractive public buildings in the United States. But even then, I cared more about rocking out to Cyndi Lauper, who was the Grand Marshall of Pride that year. I was young, and I had no idea that Proposition 8 would become a rallying cry across our nation. I just wanted to have fun.
My primary political effort that summer was to find a California Notary who would attest to my identity on my absentee ballot for Missouri State Senate. I was truly desperate to have my vote for Robin Wright-Jones counted, as Rodney “the Republican” Hubbard was as hostile to progressive causes as anyone to ever seek elective office from St. Louis City. Although I did little to actively defeat Proposition 8, I thought that investing in an effort back home in Missouri made the most sense. After all, Proposition 8 was unique to California, or so I thought.
I’m waxing nostalgic for my time as a resident of a vibrant city with progressive leadership, excellent public transportation, and many job opportunities, because Francis Slay is now pretending to support gay marriage.
“NOH8,” dated January 20, 2010, is a MayorSlay.com blog post that features a picture of the Mayor with a piece of duct tape over his mouth and the words “NO” “H8″ written in marker on his left cheek. My friend clued me in on the “NOH8″ campaign, because frankly I am not up to date on how straight politicians are choosing to pander these days. Apparently, Francis Slay believes that following in Cindy McCain’s footsteps by posing for a “NOH8″ picture is a great way to deflect attention from his past statements on gay rights, his silence at present on how to achieve legal recognition for gays in Missouri, and his administration’s appalling record of human oppression.
Firstly, I find it amusing that a mayor who buys his way to reelection now wants to speak out against Proposition 8, an effort whose success, too, was the consequence of large money contributions. Francis, you are two years too late and completely out of touch.
Secondly, I am curious to know if the image of Francis Slay purporting to support equal marriage rights represents a change in his anti-marriage viewpoint, which Richard Callow so callously articulated as follows:
…Same-sex marriage is currently so illegal in Missouri that it would take a combination of actions by the General Assembly, a popular petition, a convention, a statewide vote, and the signature of the governor to change our laws.
I do not think that is going happen easily in Missouri — or soon — even though I do not believe that legalizing such unions would hurt society, the civil institution of marriage, the state of Missouri, or anyone in particular.
As a practical person, I would rather spend my efforts ensuring that certain benefits — i.e., joint ownership, survivorship, medical decision making — are available to all Missouri couples…
Now, I will deconstruct the above remarks, but let’s see how and when Mayor Slay chooses to weigh in on “gay issues” at other times (starting with the most recent first):
I recently met with a couple of young men who were injured in a fracas in a parking lot shared by a local nightclub popular in the gay community and a bar popular with a local college crowd. The injuries sustained by some of the young men were serious enough to require medical attention.
Not every act of violence against a gay person is a hate crime, but what happened outside the Complex Night Club had the elements: unprovoked confrontation, anti-gay slurs, a speedy exit before authorities arrived….
St. Louis is a gay-friendly city. We are proud of our diversity. We will not, as a community, tolerate violence — especially, violence fueled by hate. I have gay siblings; I particularly deplore these acts of violence…
It is disappointing to read US Rep. Roy Blunt’s comments critical of proposed federal legislation that would grant greater protections for gay victims of violence…
I donʼt always see eye to eye with state representative Jeanette Mott Oxford. If, however, she has been excluded from a special legislative committee in Jefferson City because of her sexual orientation, then I strongly agree with her that a mistake has been made…
…Some of the state’s most at-risk children could benefit from new regulations issued by the Missouri Department of Social Services. The new regulations will allow gays to be licensed as foster parents…
…First, though, here’ s what we don’t need to do:
•Defeating the stem cell initiative would be a bad thing
•Failing to fund education — grade schools, high schools, and colleges — would be a bad thing
•Cutting back on economic development initiatives, like the historic tax credit, would be a bad thing
•Making the state less welcoming to new Americans, to gays, to seniors, and to children would be bad things, and
•Overly restricting the ability of local governments to revitalize blighted areas would be a very bad thing….
…MayorSlay.com will speculate that a bunch of good clubs and restaurants, PrideFest, Mardi Gras, the Mayor’s Ball, a community of gay-owned businesses, a well-read gay newspaper, friendly churches, a good City vote on a bad constitutional amendment, a domestic partnership registry, housing and employment protections in the civil rights code, some progressive local employers, and inclusive personnel and benefits polices for City employees all contributed to the listing [as one of 50 Fabulous Gay-Friendly Places to Live].
…One element central to our City’s renaissance is our willingness to celebrate our diversity. We are very different from the rest of our state. We live in neighborhoods and historic buildings unmatched in the region. We are older, younger, gayer, blacker, hipper, and more traveled than our neighbors…
Okay, so as of May 2009, Francis Slay, through his ghastly and not so secret ghost writer, Richard Callow, implicitly deplored the actions of Missourians who seek equal marriage rights. Stating his belief that such efforts are not “practical,” Francis Slay signaled to his campaign contributors that they should not expect him to support gay marriage in Missouri. Instead of saying that he believes that gay marriage will benefit society, Slay frames the matter as follows: “I do not believe that legalizing such unions would hurt society.” There is a huge difference between an endorsement and puff, with Francis Slay instead opining offensively with puff.
Again, if you look closely at the words that Slay uses to express his “support” for gay rights, you notice some striking patterns. Often, Slay deploys mentions of “gays” in St. Louis City to bolster his credentials as a champion of “diversity.” Despite his nearly decade long time in office as Mayor, however, Slay has never taken steps to incorporate gays into positions of power at the local level; to the contrary, he patronizingly cut State Representative Jeanette Mott Oxford down while absolving State Republican leaders of any responsibility for having denied Representative Mott Oxford a seat on the Missouri House Special Standing Committee on Children and Families through his use of the passive voice, “…a mistake has been made.” In other words, assertive gays need not apply for a seat on the vanguard cabinet.
Another pattern in Francis Slay’s public pronouncements about gay rights is his odd need to provide commentary about matters for which he bears no responsibility, namely state administrative decisions and pending federal legislation. It really means a lot to me as a gay St. Louisan to have a Mayor who pays a public relations firm more than $50,000.00 a year to write blog posts expressive of support for my interests at levels of government where Slay holds no power.
In reality, Francis Slay’s support for gay rights really boils down to the following–he doesn’t believe that I should be the victim of violence because of my sexual orientation, even though he admits that someone might want to slug me for other reasons such that the violent act would not necessarily constitute a hate crime. As Slay said in 2006, “Making the state less welcoming…to gays…would be bad.” And hate crimes, according to Slay, are bad.
Slay “supports gay rights” just like Jeff Smith “supported gay rights”–by paying lip service and never putting any political capital on the line. The issue that matters most to me is Missouri’s need for enhanced Employment Nondiscrimination, Housing Nondiscrimination, and Public Accommodation Nondiscrimination laws at the state level. Francis Slay remains silent where it matters, despite having more than enough leverage at his disposal to get what he wants.
Imagine if Francis Slay told his cronies at the St. Louis RCGA that they should not expect any more public money unless or until they stand up for nondiscrimination in Missouri.
That would be a game-changer.
Imagine if Francis Slay told his campaign contributors that he cannot accept funds from those opposed to marriage equality.
That would be a game-changer.
Imagine if Francis Slay pushed Joseph Keaveny into supporting nondiscrimination as Corrupt Keaveny’s number one legislative priority, instead of trying to wrest hundreds of millions in dollars away from the Police Pension Fund.
That would be a game-changer.
Instead, Francis Slay chooses to be a poser claiming not to hate. But what he fails to say is that he has no respect. He’s just too “practical” for that.